Loops are bullshit. Loops are bullshit. Hey, and we have tail-call elimination ES6, which means recursion is on the menu. I'll provide as many alternatives to those dreadful loops as I can. Impress your loved ones with catamorphisms,anamorphisms, bifunctors, fix points, f-algebras, co-recursion, and more. Plus,if I'm not too lazy, I'll show how it all applies to streams - no promises though (so many puns!) Brian Lonsdorf is a faux academic seeking attention.